Denial
by Dama Jade
Summary: I'm pulling you close, you just say no You say you don't like it, but girl I know you're a liar 'Cause when we kiss... is fire.


I'm driving in my car, I turn on the radio  
I'm pulling you close, hmm you just say no  
You say you don't like it, but girl I know you're a liar  
'Cause when we kiss  
Ohhh, fire

Well late at night, I'm takin' you home  
Well I say I wanna stay, you say you wanna be alone  
You say you don't love me, but you can't hide your desire  
And when we kiss  
Ohhh, fire

You had a hold on me right from the start  
In a grip so tight I can't tear it apart  
My nerves all jumpin' actin' like a fool  
Your kisses they burn, but your heart stays cool

Romeo and Juliet, Samson and Delilah  
Baby you can bet their love they didn't deny  
Your words say split, yeah but your words they lie  
When we kiss  
Ohhh, fire, fire  
It's burnin' in my soul  
I just can't, I just can't, I just can't  
Stand myself  
Yeah!

- - -

Fire by Bruce Springsteen

- - -

Ever changing eyes followed every curve of her luscious body. That delightfully rounded ass seemed to sway at some imaginary cadence as she glided along the crowded sidewalk. St John Allerdyce was drowning in a pool of desire. He wanted her. No; he craved her. And tonight he would find out if she took the cure. No more long restless night, no more waking up with the sheets soaking wet. The pain was unbearable. Sometimes it felt like if someone took a sharp knife and drove into his soul.

He got a bad desire.

Only she could cool the fire.

He followed her inside a store. For a week now he's been following her like a sick puppy. Self loath filled him. His need for her was overruling all reasoning. He had the stupid notion that he'd gone and forgotten all about her. Yes, he had, he tried to convince himself. His life did have a very meaningful purpose. Follow Magneto and fight at his side. The world belonged to _homo superior. _Not to all those insignificant _homo sapiens. _That has been his whole motive on this earth.

Until he saw her and again he was flooded with all those emotions he thought didn't exist anymore.

He was sitting on a bench in the park staring indifferently at two old man playing chess, reminding him of other time. Times spent with one of the greatest leader of mutant. Suddenly, it all stopped. She was walking, a delicate dress willowing around her legs. Her hands and arms were bare for the world to see. A vision to behold. She walked with total recklessness and abandonment; it was Saturday and the whole park was brimming with people.

Her brown hair moving along with her head, her silver stripes standing out of the dark and soft mass. Every single memory came crashing down on him. Ever since that first glimpse of her in the Institute's History class, she has become her biggest obsession. Never caring if her skin was dangerous and deadly, he constantly desired to taste her kissable lips. Would they have the taste of raspberry? The deep crimson of her full lips reminded him of that bitter sweet wild berry… or would they taste like honey? And what would it be like to touch her skin? He was damn sure that it would be like the softest velvet. His endless delirium has always been to feel her skin and stop living on dreams that tormented him at night. He didn't hold back the images that came to his head; he, taking her in his arms and with one of his hands, ripping that dress from her alabaster skin so his eyes could devour all her delicious curves. To feel that naked skin grazing his, soothing his feverish heat with her coolness…

However, she had somehow changed. Her chocolate eyes were cold and soulless.

He followed her that day from a prudent distance and that's how he found out that she wasn't living in the Institute anymore. She had an apartment in Soho, a building with studio-like floors. Since then he's been keeping track of her. Always on the prowl, weighing when to approach her… or should he say attack her? Jump on her and kiss her senseless, until both of them were panting for air.

He has not seen any sign of Bobby. None whatsoever. Curiosity was getting the best of him. What the hell happened to the ice dick?

She stepped out of the store. He did too.

Rogue walked out of the store. Breathing out through her parted lips, the air lifted her silver strands. She needed a nice cocktail dress. _Pronto. _Tomorrow was Kitty and Peter engagement party. And she was so tired… emotionally and physically.

Never did she stop to think that one small choice; one little decision could trigger so much hurt and regrets. She's been utterly blind. She has been so stupidly naïve. The cure would solve everything, like some kind of magic spell. Oh, how wrong she was! It didn't; it only worsened things. Painful memories came back with that revelation; the disdainful look in Bobby's ice blue eyes as she gave him the news and despite his scorn, he made love to her. She snorted; if what he did could have been named with the special epithet. In her whole life had she never felt that used… After he left her in bed, this sour bile rose up her throat. She felt dirty. The whole _'lovemaking'_ was a total disappointment to her. From then on everything between Bobby and her went downhill with an incredible speed.

Six long months had passed her by since she left the mansion.

Logan didn't approve of her abrupt decision. Storm, bless her soul, stood beside her, supporting her wish to go live by herself. She even helped her to keep studying, providing her with what Storm called fondly _'the Xavier scholarship'. _

She had a nice job, also thanks to Logan and his unique connection. She went to a community college four nights in the week. So, it could be said that she had a life. Not an aimless life but somehow empty. The emptiness worsened when she received Kitty's news of her upcoming marriage, making her feel worthless. Although all she was feeling; Rogue was very happy for Kitty. Her friend deserved the best. Peter was a good young man and he sure was going to keep her days filled with joy.

Deciding she would not find anything, much less in the mood she was in, she headed back to her apartment. Maybe she should excuse herself of the party… it still hurt her to see Bobby with the new girl. Lorna Dane. An exotic beauty.

She sighed. Kitty would be disappointed if she didn't show up. Mildly surprised to be in front of her door; she really has been deep in her thought; she looked for her keys. Strong arms encircled her waist, pulling her hard against a body. She was terribly scared, horrible scenarios crossing her head. All going down the same path; rape and murder. She fought like a wildcat against the hands that held her tightly. Feeling herself growing hysterical by the second, she opened her mouth to scream…

"Shit, Rogue. Stay still."

Oh. Sweet. Lord.

That deep voice she would recognize anywhere. "Allerdyce?"

He turned her around and stared at her with an arched eyebrow. "What happened to Johnny?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, she replied coldly. "You're no longer deserving of that name."

He definitely was sick, seeing her going all huffy and mad has surely made him harden. His eyes slipped down that pretty face and let them rest on her full red lips. He wanted to taste them. "Why not? It's still my name."

She ignored him. "What in the hell are you doing here?"

He stared intently at her. "To kiss you."

She felt herself grow warm; very indeed. However, she couldn't hold back the outraged reply. "What?"

He took advantage and his lips came crashing down on her.

Rogue felt her whole body react to that kiss. It was a sensual assault to her mouth and to her senses. Raising her hands, she gripped his jacket to not fall down. What was he doing to her?

John has sent everything to hell and allowed his impulses to take control. He didn't give a damn if that sweet skin could kill him; he crushed that mouth to have a full taste of those tempting lips… and that was his perdition. He demanded access to its moist cavity, at last discovering what he'd been wondering for many months when he was a student at the Institute. All her mouth tasted like raspberry. He tightened that luscious body to his; all the while enjoying the sensual kiss and he heard her moan. That was his undoing. His hands swept down her back until he reached her ass, lifting her tightly against his erection and pushing himself between her thighs. Her skin didn't react to his touch, driving him completely insane. It was pure and simple torture to have her like these, in his arms, softening, her body fitting to his like missing pieces of a puzzle.

His tongue plunged into her mouth for a full exploration, working his mouth over hers, sending a sensual jolt throughout her whole body. She trembled when he lifted her against his hardness; she wanted to cry from pure joy. Her hands let go of his jacket to roam his back up and down, allowing herself to be raked by the powerful sensation that he was awakening in her. It was scaring her shitless; frightening in their strangeness and intensity; deep, swirling, hot sensations. Still one hand gripping her buttocks, the other found its way under her top and reaching higher he moved his hand over her breast, his fingers tantalizing her already sensitive nipple. It was the most sinfully erotic experience of her life, his hand on her breast and she buckled in his embrace.

Then his mouth turned in a new direction; he hasn't finished instead he was, in fact, tasting her skin in other areas. His tongue moved slowly up her neck to reach her earlobe and bit it softly. "Tell me, babe." Deep, hoarse voice tingling her all over, "Does he do to you what I'm doing to you?"

A bucket of ice cold water was dropped on her. She pushed him violently away from her. What in damnation was wrong with her? How could she allow him such liberties on her body? She ignored the little voice in the back of her head. _'You want this. Bobby never awoke what he awoke on you.' _ She denied it. She loved Bobby, damn it! Not the asshole in front of her.

"What the fuck?" John was annoyed and very, very angry.

"Don't you ever touch me again, asshole." She hissed through her gritted teeth.

"Shit, Rogue. Don't tell me you didn't like it. You were moaning like a bitch in heat."

No, she wouldn't do it. She would not lower herself for the bastard standing in front of her. She was a lady, she had manners… Her fist connected with his face. "Stay away from me, Allerdyce, or I will not be responsible…"

She didn't finish.

He has grabbed her by the arms and shoved her against the wall. "Are you implying that you didn't like me touching you? You didn't refuse my kiss, if my memory isn't fooling me. In fact, you returned it in full measure."

Raising her chin, feeling anything but afraid of his well known temper, she replied coldly, "No, I didn't."

"Little fuckin' liar." He neared his lips to her mouth. "You're dying for me to kiss you, touch you…" His eyes became darker. "And to fuck you."

"I don't fuck and most definitely, I won't do it with you." The brown eyes send daggers his way. The gall, the nerve… Big asshole. To her head came immediately what Logan taught her. _'Never, ever, underestimate the strategy of fighting like a girl.' _Oh, no, she won't! Raising her knee, she hit him on his ball. It was most satisfying to witness the pain on his face. She pushed him away from her and ran inside her apartment. Closing the door behind her and locking it, she retreated backwards, waiting to hear a _swoosh _and the door burning up on fire. Instead, there was a string of curses.

And then, she didn't hear him no more.

She attempted not to think. She had so much emotion welling up in her. Half of it was anger, however, and she concentrated herself on that because deep inside her she was afraid. It was scary to face all that he awoke in her, scary indeed, because it definitely wasn't love… It was lust. Yes, that must be it.

**- ****X -**

John was nursing his anger and his unfulfilled desire with a shot of vodka. Damn stupid bitch! He sat back on his chair, the old table moving unsteadily on a wobbly leg, his eyes surveying the place. Perhaps he can find a brunette that would be willing to have a one night stand. Why waste his time with that good for nothing pathetic girl?

Shit! Who he was trying to fool? A derisive chuckle left his mouth. He was the pathetic, still nursing the stupid crush he felt for her. Fuckin' witch made a spell on him. That was the only explanation for his sick feelings. She stirred in him the most extreme desires, from craving to strangle her to having the need of kissing and touching her whole body. He dwelled on those last lustful thoughts.

Suddenly standing up, he decided he won't take it anymore. Fuck her propriety and her stubbornness. He was sure as hell that she felt the same. She wanted to be touched and he would be damned if he wasn't the one to do it.

- **X –**

Never before had Rogue such a wonderful dream. She felt that she was floating in thin air, her skin awakening to delightful sensations. A moan full of desire escaped her lips, a strange heat pooling in her core. Until she heard that raspy, deep voice, "Roguey."

She woke up all soaked up in sweat, her shallow, rapid breath heightening her anxiety. What was wrong with her? Why was she dreaming about _him?_ White, trembling hands covered her quivering lips; she didn't care for the asshole, she loved Bobby. Didn't she? Shit, no. She hated that son of bitch. And just as sudden as that thought came to her head, she began to cry. She used to love him, and even if she still did -which she totally didn't, by the way- she could still find other men attractive, right..? But it was John! She shouldn't feel attracted to John, of all people! Why was John capable of awakening in her what Bobby never could?

She let out a groan of frustration. No, no, no, no ... and no, she was not attracted to John in any way, shape, or form. She bit her lip nervously. Then, why the hell did she respond to that kiss? Why did she get the overwhelming desire for him to take her just right there, in front of her apartment? Her eyes widened as her last fleeting thought ran through her head. It had to be hormones. It just had to.

Tiredness overcame her, sleep claiming her and with a last sob, she went back to the realm of dreams. A pair of ever changing eyes appearing out of nowhere and she was again at the hall in front of her apartment, all the wonderful feelings she experienced with John's kiss came immediately to life again.

However, there was something else present that had not been felt before, a vague kind of frustration and somehow, all the wondrous things _he_ was making her feel just weren't going to be enough. That something even more delightful was missing. She was being kissed quite passionately, and where the hall was cool, there was now such much heat. It took a while before she realized that John was doing more than kissing her. His hands weren't just holding her; they were roaming freely on her body. Those fingers deftly skimming all over her curves, making her feel sinfully sensuous. But when that hot mouth covered one of her breast, a thrill moving down her spine and hearing an ecstatic, deep groan come from somewhere near her, it was quite a sobering effect.

She wasn't on the hall, she was in her bed, naked and St John Allerdyce was on top of her. She could only think to demand, "What are you doing here?"

He stared down at her, smirking, "Isn't it obvious?"

He lowered his head, and just as unexpected, he gave her an incredibly sweet and tender kiss that melt all her resistances, making them go away. It was disarming. John devoured her lips, his fingers tightening in her hair. She would never have guessed that John was this gentle… almost loving. Just the opposite of Bobby, who made her feel used and dirty. And it made her wonder. But all thoughts abandoned her, as he tasted her fluttering eyelids, pressed heated kisses against the pulse throbbing at her temple.

Wild with the aching desire consuming him, John spread moist, eager kisses along the line of her brow, the delicate curve of her ear. He knew he didn't deserve her, but he surrendered to the selfishness that made him take this precious gift to his heart. Raising his head, he cupped Rogue's face in his hand and looked down at her in silence. She has changed; she was thinner than she had been when they were together at the mansion, though the effect only enhanced her delicate bone structure, making her more beautiful. She was truly a precious gift.

"John?" Her voice had a somewhat harsh undertone, seeing his eyes taking a peculiar blue hue, almost purple. She was afraid to believe what she saw in them… love?

Like if he's been awakened from a strange reverie, a low, unidentifiable sound echoed in John's throat as he claimed her delicious mouth. All that was John swept over her, filled her, and as his tongue sent shivers to the core of her being, an incredible exhilaration came alive inside her. His breathing ragged, John tore his mouth from hers to press hungry kisses against the column of her throat. Leaving a trail of fire down her collarbone, he kept going down until he found her exquisite breast, claiming one of her pink peaks. A low moan rose from deep within and that seemed to make him go over the edge. That was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

He groaned; the need within him swelling and John couldn't bear the impediment of his clothes between them no longer. Deftly he took his shirt and pants, all the while Rogue's trembling fingers helped him. A low gasp escaped through her lips as his body met hers fully for the first time and John closed his eyes, clenching his teeth trying to control himself. Looking down into her passion flushed face, he whispered with a fervent quality, "This is the way I imagined it, in all those dreams I pushed to the back of my mind. This is the way I wanted it to be. I can't stop it any longer." He paused, staring into her face that seemed to glow under the moonlight, imparting an ethereal brilliance to her white stripes. John has faced death, has faced the possibility of never seeing another day and that gave him the boldness to add, his voice husky, "I've always loved you. I always will."

Wide, brown eyes stared at him, shimmering with unshed tears. Emotions ran amuck inside her. Her mouth opened to deny it, but closed slowly as the memories sank in; making her wake up from the lie she has been living. He loved her. St John Allerdyce loved her, Anna Marie D'Acanto. A small smile appeared on her lips, "You love me." It wasn't a question; it was some sort of deep and quiet acceptance. At that moment she realized that it didn't matter to him that she took the cure, because he loved her for who she was and wrapped her arms around his neck, to hold him near her. Then, as a veil was lifted from her eyes, she whispered back, "I love you."

John held her fiercely, trying to believe her words. "Rogue, you don't have to…"

"Marie." She corrected him. Now, only two people knew her real name, Logan and him. He raised himself halfway, looking at her speechless. He couldn't resist the small smile that crept onto his face. Usually, he wasn't too fond of the whole 'slave name' thing, but it was different with her. He didn't know how or why but it just didn't seem to apply when he was with her. Nothing did, as a matter of fact.

"Marie." It came out in a hoarse whisper. A bitter-sweet plea.

How could she have been so blind? And little pieces became to fall into its rightful places. His ball of fire to welcome her; his display in Bobby's porch all to protect her, his eyes as he looked at her before leaving the Blackbird, _"Do you always do what you're told?"_ Because she has done so, she chose Bobby over him; after all it was expected of her, the proper southern lady. Bobby was the good guy, nice little girls never chose the bad boys. But, couldn't bad boys be allowed to love too? Raising her hands, she took John's face and neared it to hers. Lips barely touching, she begged in a sultry voice, "Love me."

He lost all control, his mouth came crashing down on her, demanding, all his pent up desire coming out in that single gesture. Then, poised above her, John paused and just looked at her, fearing that everything was a dream and would soon wake up. Her doe brown eyes stared at him, shining. Suddenly driving deep within her, he exulted at Rogue's stifled cry and her eyes were now shining with unadulterated pleasure.

"You're now mine, Marie." His clear eyes consuming her even as he was consumed, "You'll never belong to anyone else the way you belong to me."

John began a slow movement and Rogue didn't fight to suppress the low, ecstatic sounds escaping her throat. Clutching him tighter, joy overwhelming her, she closed her eyes, disbelieving the beauty that swelled with each penetrating thrust. She had not known that she could feel like these. She was so immersed in pleasure that all thoughts ceased, leaving only her feelings to govern her responses. And she did respond with a passion that soon took over to match the rhythm he was creating. She kept up with him, so much feeling consuming her… and then it was too much. She cried out in surprise and he joined her in a deep, long groan. It was unexpected, the place he took her to, such a glorious burst of sensation and at last, the incredible aftermath, floating back down in a bubble of pulsing pleasure.

She had not known.

In the stillness that followed, a complete sense of repletion fell on her. Their joy was complete, as they lay in each other arms, never wishing to be free. She sighed contentedly. Who would have thought that the hardened pyromaniac did have a heart after all? She heard his rhythmic breathing, letting her know that he has fallen deeply asleep, all the while his arms held her tight, afraid of letting go. His body kept her warm, driving away all those cold and lonely days. And Rogue began to have hope; maybe this could be the beginning of a new life. She fell asleep with a foolish smile on her lips.


End file.
